New Years: A Fresh Start for Old Habits?

The new year is the perfect time for a lot of people to super-charge their self-improvement plan by getting motivated, focused and organized.  People tend to view the start of a new year as a 365 page book that has yet to be written.  Each day represents a blank page that has all the narration potential that optimism and hard work can pen – the decision is ours.

When you consider how many if not most people over-eat, over-spend and over-indulge over the course of the holiday season, it should come as no surprise that by the time the new year arrives, people are craving structure, self-discipline and relief from the guilt that follows many of these excesses.  It is not uncommon for people to file for divorce, start a new career or relocate as part of a new years strategy to self-improve. However, more often than not resolutions involve belly-fat and biceps and are frequently made at the last minute as the year draws to a close.

Why then, do new years resolutions have seem so difficult to maintain for most people? Although almost half of all Americans make some kind of New Years resolution, according to U.S. News and Word Report, 80% of all new years resolutions fail.  Focusing on how you should approach your new years resolutions can help you resolve not to let old habits get a fresh start in the new year.

Mind Over Matter

After you’ve given yourself a pep talk about the importance of goal-setting and self-care, it is your responsibility to make sure you maintain a positive mind set as you start to go through the new year.  There are going to be days when you feel discouraged and may lack the resolve to follow through.  While will power is important, it will fail you if you entertain negative thoughts and begin to reason away your resolve.  If you have a bad day and fail at some of your goals, forgive yourself and don’t let yesterday’s failure interfere with tomorrow’s successes.  Be focused on your everyday behavior and don’t push too far ahead into tomorrow.  To that end, you will be better able to enjoy today for what it is and appreciate small successes.

Do you remember your resolutions from one short year ago?  Small incremental resolutions are the best for success, but even still require constant daily dedication. 

Keep it Realistic

When it comes to setting your resolutions, make sure you make them reasonable and attainable. It’s also important not to deal in absolutes.  Let’s face it – you aren’t going to be speaking fluent Swahili,  playing a french horn concerto, or losing large quantities of body fay within a month’s time.  Also, if you resolve to go to the gym 6 days a week as opposed to simply adopting a healthier lifestyle or losing weight, you are going to be setting yourself up for failure.  What happens if you get the flu and can’t make it in for 7 days?  Recognize your own boundaries and keep your goals reachable in the context of your life.  Set a well thought out plan for your goals that you know you are going to be able to follow.

Get Advice – Good Advice

While it can be beneficial to seek out the advice of close friends and family, be wary of jumping on the bandwagon of self-help gurus who don’t know you, aren’t familiar with your lifestyle, and may not offer good wisdom and judgment.  Researcher and psychologist Richard Wiseman found that many of these ideas that are frequently recommended by self-help experts simply don’t work based on the results of his study on new years resolutions.  “If you are trying to lose weight, it’s not enough to stick a picture of a model on your fridge or fantasize about being slimmer.” Wiseman said.

Check Your Motives

What is the driving force behind your resolutions?  Is guilt or shame?  How about fear or insecurity?  If so, it’s best to take a step back and evaluate your mind set and how you actually view yourself.  It is a well-settled fact that negative emotions are poor fuel to launch a campaign for self-improvement.  Harvard Business School Researcher Amy Cuddy told the Business Insider that (people) “tend to focus on things they want to change about themselves and things they dislike about themselves,”  she went onto explain that when a person does this “you’re eliciting in yourself negative emotions. Some negative emotions are motivating, but for the most part, they’re not.” If you say, “I’m going to stop eating junk food,” to use an example, you’re denigrating yourself before even getting started. You’re better off framing your goal as “eating healthier” so that you’ll remain motivated and optimistic.

Ellen Anna Wright is a senior attorney at Wright Family Law Group in Tewksbury, Massachusetts focusing her practice on Family Law, Personal Injury and Bankruptcy.

 

 

 

 

 

Holiday Season Car Accidents: Be Prepared

Accident statistics during the holidays suggest that the holiday season can be a particularly dangerous time to travel when it comes to fatal motor vehicle accidents. If you or a loved one have holiday travel plans, be cognizant of the hazards that are unique to this time of year.

In a season that is supposed to be merry and bright, there is an increased risk of car accidents on Massachusetts roadways.

Causes of Car Accidents During the Holidays

Drunk Driving

Studies suggest that the most dangerous time of the year to be on the road is between Thanksgiving and New Years Eve. There are many causes of traffic accidents, but statistics suggests that certain factors contribute to the higher incidents of motor vehicle accidents during the holiday season.

The most current statistics available from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) show that the month of December can be especially dangerous for motorists. According to the most recent NHTSA study from 2001-2005, 38% of the traffic fatalities during the Christmas period involved a drunk driver or motorcycle riders, and 41% during the New Year’s period. These numbers are significant when compared with 31% taken for the year’s average as a whole.

Driver Distraction & Fatigue

There is an increase in impaired drivers during this time of the year as well as driver distraction. Although Massachusetts enacted a law which bans texting while driving in 2010, it is not uncommon for it to go largely ignored during this busy time of the year. The reality is that more demands on our time with expectations and tensions running high can be physically and mentally exhausting for many, if not most people. Add in this increase of driver fatigue to the equation and the likelihood of a crash could increase exponentially.

Road Rage & Poor Weather Conditions

A study performed by insurer State Farm and KRC Research, questioned 1,000 U.S drivers over-18 years old. A full 64% of respondents said they experienced at least six acts of aggressive driving during the past three months.  Moreover, one-third of those drivers admitted they are more likely to be provoked to aggressive driving during the holiday season. Road rage is a symptom of today’s society where Americans are more likely to be stressed out, over-worked, short on time and money, and more likely to be depressed. During the holidays all of these issues are likely to be exacerbated so it should come as no surprise that there is a spike in the instances of holiday road aggression.  Combine holiday road rage with the poor weather conditions that can be all too common at this time of year, and you’ve got a “perfect storm” for a motor vehicle collision.

With all of the added stress on people during the holidays the last thing anyone wants to think about is a car accident, but being aware of the risk factors that are associated with holiday travel can help make your trips safer.

Keep Christmas Merry – Be Safe

Be Courteous For a season where there should be goodwill toward men, there is often a big lack of it on the roadway for the reasons given above. Make an extra effort to adhere to driving etiquette and take the “higher road” if the other driver is rude to you.  For example, if you use your directional, don’t lane-dodge.  A simple polite act may be the determining factor that impedes a car accident.

Drive Sober  Remember that one drink can impair your judgment and increase the risk of a motor vehicle accident.  If you know you are going to be drinking, do not plan on driving.  Plan ahead by designating a sober driver before the party begins or use public transportation if its available.  Call a taxi, Uber, or a friend if you must.  If you get behind the wheel of a car drunk, it may be the biggest regret of your life.

Drive Rested: If your exhausted from shopping, upset, or just plain tired, you’re more likely to drive carelessly or with aggression, so make sure to drive when you’re at your best.  If you need a pick-me-up, don’t be too caught up in the chaos of the season to indulge.  Have a cup of coffee, a desert or put some holiday music on.

If you do find yourself in a Massachusetts car accident, the attorneys at the Wright Family Law Group can help  you determine if you are entitled to compensation for your injuries.  Call us to schedule your free, no-obligation consult.

Holiday Spending and Bankruptcy: Don’t Make a Mistake ‘Yule’ Regret

Bankruptcy is never a pleasant thing to think about, and it is likely the absolute last thing you would want to think about during the holidays. In today’s frantic world, it’s so easy for time and money to be overextended and it becomes even more overwhelming for many people during the holiday season. It’s important for all of us to be responsible while using credit cards, and to use “sound financial planning” in all holiday shopping to avoid future problems. If you’re feeling the holiday pressure to “out spend” what you make or currently have credit card debt that is snowballing as the holiday season rolls along, read on.

A New Year, A Fresh Start?

It can be enticing to just give in to the pressure to do whatever it takes to get the gift-buying out of the way this time of year. Many, if not most people feel obligated to give into giving/receiving expectations and don’t want to think about the consequences. “I’ll just get Uncle Tom taken care of, then I’ll worry about the credit card bill later on in the new year…” If you find yourself adopting this thinking pattern, first, ask yourself whether or not you will even have a job next year to pay the credit card will with. Then, consider that even if you do, is it going to be worth 9 months of bills, only to succumb to the pressure again next year?

Many cash-strapped consumers erroneously believe that a chapter 7 bankruptcy filing will get rid of any charges they put on their credit cards while doing their holiday shopping. This misplaced “new years” mind set causes many people to think they will have their fresh start and be “off with the old and in with the new”, not realizing how long a bankruptcy procedure can take.

Credit Cards – Avoid Charging Gifts

If you already know, or reasonably believe that you will have to file a bankruptcy petition in the coming months, beware that your pre-bankruptcy holiday credit card spending may be risky business. Racking up debt within 90 days of the filing of a bankruptcy petition is preemptively fraudulent, and many would-be bankruptcy clients are shocked when that word surfaces during their initial consultation. “What do you mean, fraud? Me? Never!” are a few of the things people frequently say when this issue surfaces. Most people do not intend to engage in fraud, but for some, the temptation to use a credit card during the holiday shopping rush is overwhelming. These are important issues to keep in mind if you are thinking about filing a bankruptcy petition within the near future.

Cash Advances – You Better Watch Out

Like the charges on your credit card, if there are cash advances taken on a credit card within the 90 days prior to your bankruptcy filing that totals more than $600 you may be distraught to learn that it may not be dischargable. A bankruptcy trustee will not be pleased to see large sums of cash drawn against unsecured lines of credit timed right around the holiday season. Be mindful that it is considered fraudulent if the debt is incurred with the intention not to repay it and the credit card company can come in and object to those specific cash advances being discharged in your bankruptcy.

The Bottom Line

Use good judgment and do your best to to make this holiday season “cash-only”. You will never regret not digging the debt hole deeper only to find it even more difficult to later escape through a self-propelling cycle of credit card use. You may cringe at the thought of being dubbed a “Grinch” by your kids, but you will only be doing your them a favor in later life. Instead of giving into their material desires, they will see you exercising self-control and frugality, which are both good character traits to model.

If the damage has already been done, there is still hope and it is never to late for a fresh start.  If you are a Massachusetts resident, consult a qualified bankruptcy attorney to discuss your options and see what relief you may qualify for.

Helpful Tips for Co-Parenting During the Holidays

Source: Helpful Tips for Co-Parenting During the Holidays

Helpful Tips for Co-Parenting During the Holidays

Divorce is often difficult and painful but it can be even more so during the holidays. Coupled with the apprehension, if not fear, regarding the future and the outcome of pending legal proceedings, the stress of the holiday season can make even the toughest people feel emotionally, mentally and physically defeated. As the Massachusetts Family Courts have evolved to favor a joint parenting arrangement, effective co-parenting, especially during the holiday season has become even more important. Below are a few tips to consider when planning your holiday season activities and dealing with the other parent.

 

It is not uncommon for family feuds to surface during the holidays.  It is best to try to keep the peace as much as possible in order to make sure the children feel safe and happy. 

Be Gracious and Compromise

While everyone tries to get in a little extra family time during the holidays, non-custodial parents should make a special effort to take advantage of opportunities to spend extra one-on-one time with the children. It is important, however, not to put the children in the middle of a dispute about division of holiday time if one should arise. Clamoring for extra holiday time to the loss of the other parent can be a mistake if it is done out of spite and causes arguments in the presence of the children. The best interests of the children are always paramount and it is well-settled that a strong relationship with both parents (and their respective families) helps the children form and maintain relationships with their community. Consider the possibility that what you want is not necessarily what may be best for the children, and so you should be open to compromise. The most important thing is to make sure the children have the holidays as easy as possible and enjoy as much quality family time as they can. We teach children that this is the season of love, peace and joy but when they observe tensions escalate between family members it sends a very different message. When parents argue, it can make a tumultuous situation worse and poison what is supposed to the happiest time of year for children.

Schedule Ahead

If it is difficult to communicate with the other parent, it is important to be specific and to plan ahead when schedule parenting time during the holidays. More often than not holiday parenting schedules will supersede regular parenting plans so while it may seem silly to think about Christmas in July, it can save all parties involved a lot of time and aggravation when Thanksgiving has arrived and holiday time all of the sudden needs to be divided. By planning ahead you will avoid any last minute changes and will greatly decrease the likelihood of an argument in front of the children. You may need to retain the services of a parenting coordinator or a family law attorney to negotiate a fair and reasonable parenting plan if the other parent refuses to cooperate and negotiate , but this is best done months in advance.

Be Realistic and Keep The Holidays in Perspective

It is a mistake to obsess over the holidays trying to make them “perfect”. If you are in the middle of a contested divorce, do not try to put on a facade that nothing is wrong if you are struggling. It’s important to remember that it not worth hurting yourself emotionally just for the sake of keeping up appearances. Keep in mind that you are not the first (nor the last) person to go through a bitter divorce over the holidays. Also, make it a point to manage holiday expectations and be realistic about what you can and cannot do. Do not try to “out-do” the other parent by over committing yourself, breaking your shopping budget or making promises that you can’t keep. The reality is that the holidays are practically over was soon as they get started, and it serves no purpose to get overwhelmed and stressed out when tax season is right around the corner.

If you are in the middle of a divorce, remember that it is not an event like a holiday, it is a process. It can take time for re-adjustment and every family handles it differently. Go easy on yourself and do your best to enjoy the season for the joy that it can bring to others. Consider taking the focus off of your situation by volunteering or helping those less fortunate.

Insurance Company Propaganda: Don’t Be Fooled

Since the September 2011 attacks in New York City, the insurance industry has taken it upon themselves to market a campaign which has diminished and made a mockery of the personal injuries that drivers and passengers can sustain in car accidents and slip and fall claims.
The American culture is bombarded daily with insurance company misinformation and misrepresentations concerning the nature of the Massachusetts personal injury claims process and how it works. Most law abiding, tax paying citizens in Massachusetts believe that the insurance system is out of control and is an open target for abuse. They do not realize that the insurance industry has propagated this illusion in order to influence jury verdicts and foster skepticism of plaintiffs cases. As a consequence, Massachusetts personal injury lawyers in the past 15 years have learned that it can be difficult to achieve a plaintiffs verdict, even when there may be very serious injuries invloved and negligence is conclusively established. Juries tend to view personal injury claims as frivolous, and plaintiffs attorneys as “ambulance chasers” and actors in the theatre of the american courtroom instead of learned advocates for their clients. The public, by and large, seems to have developed an irrational fear of their own insurance premiums going up as a result of the claims process.

 

Dont take any chances with your personal injury claim

Most people do not realize that claims adjusters are trained to settle a claim for as little as possible and to save the insurance company money. They do not necessarily care whether or not the settlement is fair and reasonable and are not likely to empathize with a claimant. Many of their pay structures are based upon year end bonuses which reflect the amount of money that was saved in paying on the true value of a given personal injury claim. The public is also not aware that a fair percentage of these clakms adjusters are also attorneys. When injured in a Massachusetts car accident, Massachusetts slip and fall or any other Massachusetts claim involving personal injuries, it is important to retain a lawyer who has extensive experience in handling these types of claims in order to make sure your outcome is as favorable as possible.